my evil dopple ganger part 1

(I have not updated this in a while, so i decided to go with what i have thus far. life is busy, you know how it goes.)



Henry arrived at the shopping mall at approximately 2:45 p.m. The mall was an old dilapidated, mass of concrete and steel, which was in several stages of decay. Few people roamed its vibrant orange-tiled floors, where a myriad of mom and pop shops still existed.

Henry walked past a row of empty lots, and wondered why he had never noticed the mall before. In his pocket was a photograph of a woman named Marla Solenski, who Henry was going to meet for the first time with great trepidation. She claimed to be his wife.

Thats a shame. A woman that beautiful being so fucked up. Henry thought.

There wasn't a rational explanation to why he would intentionally stoke the flames of an already unruly fire like he was by meeting her. The only thing he could expound was that he was there to 'help' her. He refused to believe what Janet, the office secretary, claimed. That he was only there to fuck her. Although the thought had crossed his mind.

Tragic.

Marla Solenski really did look like the kind of woman he would have married in another life. In the photograph, her sublime smile revealed a youthful innocence that was not yet bitter about world. Henry thought he saw a bit playfullness there too.

The bizarre series of events that had lead Henry to his impending encounter, gave Henry a false sense of connection with the woman. The bond was abstract when he first noticed it but became more familiar as time passed. It was the kind of bond that was reserved on for a few people in his life.

----------------------------------------------

Henry entered the food court, which was the location she had given over the phone.

She had been waiting. Over her body, she wore a trenchcoat. Her hair was covered in a scarf and her eyes were veiled by dark sunglasses. The disguise failed at hiding her sensual beauty which still radiated from beneath. Henry was hesitant to approach as he viewed her from a distance. He did not know why she was incognito, like she was hiding from someone.

She sat at a table completely still, with her hands resting on her purse. She looked straight ahead in a fashion to suggest that she was thinking about something. For a second, Henry thought that she was looking directly at him, but was unsure because of her sunglasses. Then she got up and waved. Henry waved back and walked up to greet her. He extended his hand but she gave him an enormous hug instead. He just stood there, with his arms limp.

"Henry. Henry. Henry." , she repeated his name as if the repetition was breathing life into the idea of their happy existence together. Henry felt comfortable despite the awkwardness of the situation. And somehow, he was emotionally moved by the strange young woman, who for some reason, cared tremendously for him. He could not remember the last person, besides family, that he cared for.

"Marla...", Henry wanted to talk but was dumbfounded.

Her embrace loosened with a dose of realized sobriety when she looked up and saw his distress. She wiped the tears from under her sunglasses and composed herself.

"Henry have a seat.", she gestured towards an empty chair while finding her own. Henry took the seat and, for a time, they sat in silence. As their eyes avoided contact, Henry thought about future scenarios that would be the result of the encounter. And somewhere in his mind, he knew the scenarios were wrong. And he knew the chance of fucking was out too.

"Henry." Marla said, breaking the silence. She slowly removed her sunglasses and looked into his eyes.

"Yes." There was a brief hesitation in Henry's response. He was caught off guard by the power of her gaze.

“Do you remember anything...at all... about me?”

Henry thought about it. Earlier efforts had ambiguous results. The four corners of his mind revealed nothing.

"Sorry, no." Henry said and smiled apologetically.

Marla grabbed his hand.

"Could you try harder?"

Henry nodded and tried to remember her. That was the least he could do. As he looked at her hand that held on to his, something struck him. He had seen that hand before. Where he did not know.

Fuck!

The frustration was building as he could not figure out where he had seen her hand before. He combed through his memories until eventually, with great pain, he figured it out. It was at his mother's funeral. As he remembered it, he was sitting at the front of the church, in complete grief, and there was her hand holding his like it was now.

Henry thought for a second that he was fabricating the whole thing, until she began to appear in more memories in an abstracted form. Her ‘hint’ or 'ghost' was appearing everywhere as a scrap of an image but never a whole. She was a cloudy being that lurked in the periphery, whose face was obscured by shadows. At birthday parties, bars, vacations, work,...

This is insane! Henry thought in utter disbelief. I can't tell this woman about these vague thoughts, I am here to help her.

The last thing Henry wanted to do was to hurt this woman. He was a firm believer in logic and reason, and everything that was happening was going against it.

“Sorry Marla, I don’t remember you. But I can help you find...” Henry fell silent when he saw the rejection on her face.

Marla was not happy with his response, her lower lip quivered slightly.

“Henry, I am not of the right mind. I am going to tell you my story and you can leave at any moment."

"Okay."

Marla looked away at some imaginary object, while she decided about what she was going to say. And then, after some internal conflict was resolved she began her story.

Brain Damaged in the Wonderful World part II

Henry sat in his cubicle pondering what he should do next. Just a few minutes earlier, he was on the phone, talking with a woman who believed she was his wife. He stared blankly at randomly pinned vacation pictures. Bewildered by the woman's story, he wondered if she was a hoax, or if she was for real. If the latter was true, then the situation had the potential for becoming dangerous.

She gave her name and number. Henry was surprised to find out that he, unconsciously, scribbled the information down on a sticky. He looked at the sloppy handwriting. It said Marla Solenski and the phone number was local.

In the phone conversation, she revealed very little about herself. All she kept saying, was how much she had missed him, and how much she could not wait for the reunion. When he asked her about where they had met, her answer was, Wholesale Pyrotechnics. The very same company that Henry presently worked.

Henry placed a call to Gina from human resources to see if it was possible to confirm her existence. Upon hearing Henry's story, she agreed to help, but said it would take an hour.

Henry opened up his web browser and began surfing to pass the time.

He happened upon the website of the 24 hour news station, GNCN. There was an article about ten marines being killed, when their humvee was attacked by insurgents. Henry thought about the shaky video footage he had seen on the television the night before, and wondered if this attack looked similar. The web page had a link to some video footage. With his internet connection just recently being upgraded to broadband service, the footage was quick to download. The footage was shot from a helicopter and it showed a black crater with smoke rising into in the desert sky.

It brought back memories of his encounter with a rocket propelled grenade back more than a decade before, during the gulf war. His theory being that it was friendly fire, but the official account being an enemy launched rpg. He rubbed his left thigh which still had a swath of metal shrapnel lodged in it.

Despite his past experience, Henry thought nothing of the new's footage. With modern day news coverage and all, it was nothing new. Not exceptional. Not emotionally stirring. Almost boring. While in his state of numbness, he realized that it was good that he was able to view the footage at all. The streaming video was a feat that could not have been performed on the old slower internet connection. He thought about his bright and shiny future with broadband internet access and smiled.



The ringing phone interupted his pleasure bathing. It was Gina from human resources. She had the results.

"What did you find Gina?"

"She actually did work here. Not that long ago either, it was like six-months ago. She worked a temp job in accounting. Has a picture with the file. You know, I could get in trouble for telling you this."

"I know Gina, but I have another favor to ask. Can I see the file?"

"Um, I guess so. Why do this all half-assed? If I am going to get fired, I am going all-the-way. Meet me at the water fountain."

"Alright, I am on my way." Henry hung up the phone and paused for a moment, while still processing the newly acquired information. He got up and began walking towards the water fountain and realized that he was walking the wrong way and corrected himself. As he walked the hall he began to image what this Marla Solenski could possibly look like, and whether or not he had seen her before. He made it to the water fountain and Gina was not there yet. Gina found him hunched over drinking water when she arrived.

As Henry drank, Gina leaned over and smacked him on his ass. Henry stood up straight and wiped the excess water from his mouth with his sleeve. "Here is the picture of your wife." Gina handed him the photograph.

Henry studied the photograph. On it was the image of an attractive young white woman with blonde hair and a slender build. The woman was familiar, although he could not place where he had seen her before. His mind shuffled through the possibilities. He thought maybe he had met her before during a night of heavy drinking at a bar, and that would explain the hazy familiarity. He thought that maybe he had caught a glance of her, while passing her in the hall sometime. The more he thought about it, the more he began thinking that perhaps he had seen her in a dream. But that would be absurd.

"No, I don't recognize her..." Henry said while handing the photograph back to Gina. "...you say she worked in accounting?"

"Yeah for about two months." Gina said, taking note on how long Henry looked at the photo. "She was a temp. When Sara returned from maternity leave, she was no longer needed."

"I see. That's interesting that she actually worked here. Is there anything else you could tell me about her?" Henry asked while he grabbed the photo for another look.

"She is 25 years old, she went to Detroit University,... just typical resume stuff."

"Wow, she is hot, don't you think. Too bad she is a nut."

"Maybe she was just fucking with you. Are you sure you don't know her?"

"No-", Henry said, while actually being undecided on whether he did or not, he continued, "- No, not really. However, she really seemed to believe that she was married to me."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

Gina rolled her eyes and gave out an audible sigh. She knew Henry, and knew what he was thinking. He was contemplating, calling this woman back to fuck her. As soon as he gets to a phone, he was going to call this mysterious young woman. And that she was going to scam him in some way. And that either she was going to get hurt or that she was going to get hurt. --

"What are you thinking about?" Henry interrupted. Gina looked up and decided to tell Henry what he needed to hear.

"I think that you are foolishly thinking with your dick." Gina replied with a matter-of-fact stare.

"You are right." Henry quipped with a hopeless grin planted on his face.

"Whatever, do whatever."

As Henry walked away, he turned around and said, "Hey Gina, don't let this get around the office. This is just between you and me."

"Sure. whatever."


Henry was not convinced that Gina was going to keep her mouth shut but there was nothing else he could do to help prevent it. Besides, his mind was firmly fixed on the image of the young woman, whose name was Marla Solenski, who happens to be a stunning beauty, and is convinced that she is married to him. He was consumed with her picture and all of the soft light bouncing around her flawless porcelin skin, her pink lips, and shiny blonde hair. 'I bet she went to that glamour shots place at the mall', he thought. His next series of thoughts were about all of the different ways that he could have possibly met her before. Afterall, she knew him, and he somewhat remembered her.

He stopped by accounting where a group of middle-aged women sat smoking and crunching numbers. They said that they remembered the young pretty woman. That she did a good job and seemed normal. They added that she was polite. When he inquired about her having a relationship, they said that she was dating someone in the company but they had no idea who.



When Henry got to his desk, he found that he could no longer do his job. He typed numbers into the spreadsheets and then lost track of where he was and started over again. His mind was not functioning properly with the distraction sitting on it. One part of him was soaring and wanted to meet her, the other part was tugging on the other's leg, trying to bring him back down to reality. And then he made his decision.

'This is ridiculous. I am being stupid, Gina was right, now is the time to end this...' Henry thought and dialed Marla's phone number to put an end to it all.

She picked up after two rings.:


"Hello?"

"Marla, this is Henry from Wholesale Pyrotechnics. I found out that you did work here, but that does not matter. I don't know if you are seeing a psychiatrist right now or what, but that is something that you should really look in to. Because I am definitely not married to you. Don't you think that I would know if I was married or not and to which woman I was married to? "

"Henry-"

"Wait, I am not finished. Although your story was very interesting, I am calling to tell you to not to bother me... anymore...." Henry's voice faded off into silence. To say that he did not want her to ever bother him again would be a lie. Appropriate maybe, but not what he wanted to say. He felt stupid and began to realize he was falling for some perverse scam. Yet he hesitated. He was unsure of the reason. He thought that maybe it was the faint familiarity. And that he was curious about who she was because of the fact that she did work there. And then he realized that the real reason was because of her picture, with her beautiful green eyes looking directly into the camera lens. It was simple carnal lust. And he was fine with that.

"Henry.", came the soothing voice from the other end. A voice that all of a sudden, sounded like a voice that he had lived with all of his life.

"Yes.", came his reply.

"We are married. You don't have to believe me, I know. It is important that we meet."

"My intellect is telling me to stay far away from you. That you are dangerous. Your story is obviously wrong. I don't even remember meeting you when you worked-."

"Henry! Why are you thinking so much? You know you are not a thinker, so stop pretending to be. What is it that you feel? I said I worked there but we did not meet there... when I worked at Wholesale Pyrotechnics, that is where I first realized that you were still..."

"What? If we did not meet here, then where did we meet?"

".... we met in Europe."




(...to be continued...)


upcoming chapters:

"my evil doppleganger killed a cop",

"worshipping a golden mechanical bull is outdated",

"i can't read",

and "these are a godless people".

Brain Damaged in the Wonderful World

Drunk and tired, Henry watched televison in the confines of his dark living room. On the televison was a special on the ' War on Terror', produced by the 24 hour news network, GNCN. Shaky handheld video showing a small group of young insurgents appeared. They wore masks covering their faces and one of them launched a RPG at an American humvee.

'Fucking terrorists', Henry thought and then stopped thinking. He instinctively rubbed his thigh, where steel shrapnel is permanently residing. He glanced up at the clock. It read, 4:30 am. All of a sudden realizing that he's been watching GNCN for the last 2 hours.

'I need to get to bed. But the show is almost over...' Henry brooded over the decison, while at the same time, three masked insurgents appeared from the adjacent room, lit only by the glow of the television screen. Brandishing an RPG launcher they aimed its crosshairs in Henry's direction, another held the decapitation knife. Henry bolted up out of his seat, breathing heavily, adrenaline pumping. He glanced about ready to fight or run, but they were gone.

'Where did they go?'

Henry realized as things quieted down that the attack was just a dream. He turned off the television, drank a glass of water, and went to sleep.

The next morning Henry awakened. Still tired, he reluctantly hoisted himself up and showered. After a cup of coffee he was on his way to work. Henry glanced up at the sky during the drive. It was an amazingly clear day, and the early winter sun, which was off at an angle, was unusually bright.

When he got to the office, he noticed a bunch of workers sorting out wires in the cubicle filled room. He studied them for a moment before walking to his desk. Once at the desk, Henry discovered that his internet was not working. Henry checked all of the connections on his computer upset at the prospect of not having internet that day The internet was his only distraction from doing actual work. Passing by was Henry's boss. He saw Henry messing with the computer settings.

"Oh yeah, the internet is not working because it is being upgraded." said the Boss.

"Upgraded?"

"Yes, remember how slow it was before? Now it is going to be much faster. Broadband, I think they call it."

"Wow. That sounds great."

"Yeah, it should be up and running in a few hours. Until then, hang in there buddy." His boss smiled and winked, the wink was his trademark. Henry smiled and gave the affirming thumbs up. And the boss walked on to jabber with some of Henry's other co-workers.

'Broadband internet', Henry thought to himself, smothering the thought all over his toasted giddiness. The day was shaping up to be an unusually great day. Henry put his arms behind his head and leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling with a smile on his face.

Then his phone rang.

"Wholesale Pyrotechnics, Henry speaking."

"Henry?" came the voice of a young woman.

"Yes, Henry speaking."

"Henry Fulton?"

"Yeah, thats me, how may I help you?"

"Its me, Marla."

"Yeah, Ok."

"I'm your wife."

whaaaa?....

(to be continnnnnnued...")

haunted house part II

THE NEXT NIGHT

Aaargh!! Dude, what the fuck, I am trying to sleep. Roger? Yeah, its me. I just saw something. I don't care, just keep quiet. Seriously dude, there was this black pyramid floating through my room. A black pyramid? C'mon man. Yeah, I swear to god, this black pyramid! Dude, just go back to sleep, you've been smoking way too much shit. No fucking way am I go back to sleep, I'm going to get a drink. Fine, I'm going back to my room and back to sleep, just, ... keep it quiet.

30 MINUTES LATER

Roooooger. Wha-? Who said that? Roooger. Charley! Stop fucking with me! Dude, I am trying to sleep. Roger! Dude! Stop it! Dude, what's going on? I was downstairs. You were whispering my name. No I wasn't, I was downstairs. Dude. Dude. ----***I AM SATAN!!!***--- Dude, did you hear that? Yeah.

5 MINUTES LATER

Screeeaaammm! I can't breathe! Let me out of here! Let me out!!!

haunted house

Howdy neighbors. Would you folks happen to have an extra beer for an old man? Mmm, that is a tasty brew. Can I also bum a cigarette? Yes sir, this is the life. Sitting on the front porch on a summer day, smoking a cigarette and drinking a cold one. So how do you like the neighborhood thus far? Good, good. Glad you like it. How has the house been? Solid? Excellent. You know, most people who ever lived in that house say that the place is haunted. Yes, haunted. And not the Casper the friendly ghost types either, ...mean, nasty things. A few months, thats how long most last. But since you guys seem to be experiencing no problems, then maybe its not haunted afterall. And I'll drink to that. Now, you fellas have a good night for I think that I have drank well past my limit.

2 DAYS LATER --House warming party

Laughter. I'm gonna get you! Ha Ha Tim! Stop! I can't breathe! Pizza anybody? Who here wants to play a game? What kinda game? Jessica, you naughty girl. Tee hee. DRAG, exhale. Oooh me! I want to play! Well since Roger here tells me that there are supposedly ghosts here, I thought it appropriate that we play Ouija. Karen, you are insane, where did you get that thing? I have my ways. Karen, I don't know about this... Shut up Darlene, you are such a pussy. I know. nibbles. Ha Ha Ha. We'll lets get started, what should we ask first?

10 MINUTES LATER

Karen keep your head tilted back, otherwise your nose isn't going to stop bleeding. I'm going to take her home Roger, see you at work. We're leaving too. That was such a freak accident that lamp falling over like that and onto her nose. Yeah, good thing it wasn't broken. Her nose or the vase? Shut up Charlie, she could hear you. See you Roger. bye.

list

magical world of mystery

notes from the underground

tir na nog

the theory of relativity

a total solar eclipse in kentucky

friends

One morning I awoke to the ringing sound of my phone.

"Dude, did I wake you up?", came the tinny voice. A voice that I instantly recognized as that of my friend Charlie, an old co-worker that still drank with me sometimes.

"Yeah." I tried my best to say as few words as possible so the conversation could end sooner and I could get back to sleep.

"Sorry about that."

"Its alright."

"I was calling to see if you could give me a ride to the airport."

Ahh, he wanted a ride to the airport. A ride to the airport, which was 30 minutes away, to a man that never helped with gas money. I did not want to do it, all I really wanted to do was go back to sleep. But a better person in me believed in charity.

"Uhhh. I guess I could do that."

"Well, I know you work the midnight shift and all, so if you want to go back to sleep, I'll just get a cab."

Yes a cab. That would have been perfect. But I had to ask, just out of curiosity.

"How much does the cab cost?"

"Like 30 bucks." He said with a tone to emphasize how that was ridiculous. Thirty bucks was a lot of money. I'd would have felt like a real douche if I had not taken him at that point.

"Yeah, fuck it, I'll take you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah,...because that's what friends are for."

At that moment I realized I just said the lyrics to a song. I think Charlie on the other end realized that I had just said some lyrics too. I thought about it for a moment and remembered that Stevie Wonder, Elton John, and Dionne Warrick sang the song. The song started to play in my head at the same time.

"Dude, I think that is a lyric to a song."

"Yeah, I know. Not a lyric though, thats the chorus."

"That's what friends are for."

"Yep....


....I'll just get a taxi."


"Yeah, you do that."

Charlie hung up and that was the last time we ever talked to each other. He died three years later in a horrible plane crash.

Unable to get back to sleep, I got dressed in my workout clothes and ran 20 miles. Trying to outrun an anxiety that followed me. Why was I anxious? I did not know. When I got home, I was thirsty. I needed water, but I drank whiskey. Its just one of those things that you do. I did not know why it was that I needed a drink, I just needed one. After a quick shower, I went to work.

"Walt! What are you singing?"

I looked up and there was Martha. The M.I.L.F. I looked at her breast and then at her face. She said I was singing. I had no idea that I was singing.

"I wasn't singing."

"Yes you were."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were and I think that it's that song with Elton John and Dionne..."

As Martha spoke I began thinking. I was definitely sure that I was not singing aloud, let alone, that song. However that song had been stuck in my head all day. Perhaps I was singing, because how else could Marhta know about my tenuous relationship with that song. I concluded that I must have been singing. But before I confessed, I remembered that her and Charlie was best friends when he worked here. Some people in the office even thought there something else going on besides workplace friendliness. Martha was married with kids, but she was a slut. Everyone here knew it. He must have told her. And I was not going to play this game.

"No I wasn't singing that song. So go fuck off. And tell Charlie 'very funny'."

The whole room was looking at us. Martha had a shocked expression on her face but she was real good at acting. I looked at the whole room with people staring at me. That Charley was a sly devil, he must have told the whole office!

"Ha Ha everyone. Charlie must have told all of you too. That rascal! Do you all really want to hear me sing? Sure." What else did I have to lose, they were all laughing at me anyways. So I sang the most heart wrenching rendition of "Thats what friends are for" in front of the whole office. All parts, Elton John, Stevie Wonder, Gladys, and D-War. When I was finished I looked around and saw tears in some colleague's eyes. And slowly but assuridly applause came in abundance.




Many years later, after I lost my job at the power plant, I got evicted from my apartment. I lived off of unemployment for a while, but could never really find another job. These days, I fancy cheap alcoholic beverages and sing 'That's What Friends are For' over and over and over and over, as I walk the streets.

don't sleep

do sleep

eyes burning

the world is a cartoon.
and i travel underground.

tapeworms

"Girl, you must have a tapeworm or something. How are you able to eat so much and keep that figure?", Mrs. Robinson said as she made another plate for the half starved white girl. The girl looked to be about 15 years of age from Mrs. Robinson's estimates. Only hours earlier, she had knocked on her door, sopping wet. She seemed harmless enough and, Mrs. Robinson, being a devout Christian could not turn her away.

The girl sat at the kitchen table, along with four of Mrs. Robinson's grandchildren. They ranged in age from 5 to 12. Tonya being the eldest. She seemed fascinated with the white girl that ate as if she had never eaten. "What's your name?", Tonya asked as Mrs. Robinson served another plate to the teen.

"My name? My name is Heather."

"Please to meet you Heather, my name is Tonya. What neighborhood are you from?" Tonya talked as she would to someone who did not know English. "You aren't from around here, are you?"

Focused intently on eating the contents of her second plate, all Heather could do was shake her head, indicating that she was not from their area.

"You must be hungry." Tonya said.

Heather nodded and resumed eating.

"What are you doing in this part of town?", despite being 12 years in age, Tonya was streetwise and not for one second did she trust the white girl that sat before her in her grandmother's house. But being twelve, she lacked the tact nor patience.

"Tonya shut your mouth! Stop harassing the poor white girl. Can't you see she is hungry? Let her eat in peace, and then, if she wants, you all can talk afterwards.", Mrs. Robinson was from a different era than her grand-daughter. In her time people were more polite. Not like the kids today, with their hip-hop.

Heather stopped eaten after the grandmother's outburst and said, "Its ok Mrs. Robinson, I appreciate all that you all have done for me thus far, and you all deserve some answers. I was just on my way to my friend's house and got caught in that rain storm. Thats it."

Mrs. Robinson might have been a gullible woman at times, but one thing she did know after raising six kids without a father was a when she was lied to. "Who is your friend Heather? Maybe we know them. We could call them and they could come get you. Better yet, maybe I could call your parents."

"No, you can't call my parents."

"Tonya, take your brothers and sisters and go to your room.", obediantly Tonya took her three siblings and went to the room that they all shared. "Heather, obviously you are in some trouble."

"No trouble, I was on my way to visit my friend."

"Girl, you don't know anybody in this neighborhood. Unless you are a crackhead. And you don't look like no crackhead. I've seen many a hopeless person come and go, and you ain't one of them. How old are you?"

"15"

"15. A pretty white girl fifteen years of age, going to throw her future away over nothing. Don't you think that your parents miss you? I bet they are worried sick and are looking everywhere for you."

"No," Heather began to cry, "its was not over nothing. You don't understand. And besides, you can't call them."

"Why not, you can't go on li-"

"Because they are dead.", she said it without emotion. As if they meant nothing to her. Mrs. Robinson unconsciously grabbed her gold crucifix that dangled from a necklace and began rubbing it.

Heather broke the silence by saying, "I have to go to the bathroom, where is it?" Mrs Robinson pointed in the direction. Heather said thanks and took off.

A few minutes later, Tonya came into the kitchen.

"Tonya what did I tell you? Go back to your room."

"But grandma, that white girl sounds like she is sick or something. She has been throwing up in there for five minutes." As soon as Tonya finished her sentence, Heather came walking into the kitchen.

"Are you ok?" Mrs Robinson asked as Tonya went back to her room.

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Tonya said you were throwing up. Were you throwing up?"

A faint smile appeared on Heather's face. "Yeah."

"Are you sick?"

"No."

"Then why were you throwing up?"

"Mrs. Robinson, how else do you think a pretty white girl like me maintains this figure?"

"Heather, I am going to have to ask you to leave. I've tried my best,.... Lord knows, I've tried my best. But I can't help you. I definitely can't have you around my grandkids. So please leave." Mrs. Robinson gestured towards the door and held it.

"Mrs. Robinson, I thank you for everything that you have done. taking me in your home for the last couple of hours until the rain subsided. But finally, I see the rain outside has stopped, and it is time for me to go on my way." With a wave of the hand the white girl gently let herself out of the house. Making sure that the door did not slam on the way out. Mrs. Robinson watched her dissappear down the street into the darkness through her window.

"Crazy ass white girls." she muttered to herself. "Tonya! Get in here and vacuum the living room. Its a mess! And don't ask me no questions about that crazy ass white girl."

A few blocks down the road, Heather was approached by a small group of kids.

"Hey foxy mama, what are you doing here in our hood? Are you here to buy some weed? Some cocaine?"

Heather, afraid as would any teenaged white girl would be in the situation, looked up from the ground and into the eyes of the dealer and asked, "Do you have any tapeworms?"