Dear friend and or foe,
What would have been, not too far in the past, science fiction, is today a reality. I speak of social networking websites and drone bombers, but more importantly social networking websites. The new modes of socialization demand new rules to abide within. A small price to pay for living in the future.
Growing up, I thought little about learning the manners that were required in order for a polite society, such as ours (i assume you are part of my society), to not fall into chaos. The learning of such rules were generally instinctual. Through observation, most was just absorbed like language. As is the minds of children. Little sponges. Little retarded sponges.
However. Many "adult" rules were, to a young toddler, despite having a full luxurious mustache, difficult to grasp. Rules like, waiting until everyone in one's party is ready to order before placing a order at a restaurant. Once corrected, even these absurd rules were accepted.
Now, a little older and more mustached, the merits of learning these ritualistic social boundaries are so evident as to appear obvious. Rules like giving hi-fives BUT not too hard as to hurt the other's hand. Even if hard hi-fives is the only way to get excited about something, anything, anymore. Its just not accepted.
Once I was near graduating this college of politeness, I learn that the learning is not over. For there exists a new set of social constructs being built inside the abstract environment of the internet. More specifically the places where friends thrive in the hundreds sometimes thousands; Facebook and Myspace.
A smart man, would quit using these social websites upon the realization that there exists a problem.
A smarter man would write a blog entry.
I know what you are thinking.
What kind of pansy needs to learn etiquette at all? It's the internet, aka the wild west. Just say what you say when you mean it or don't when you don't and do when you do re mi fa so la ti. If you want to be a cyber-hermit, then by all means continue on your ill-thought path. I once thought I could do whatever I wanted willy nilly on the internets myself, until the entice of social websites, with their lure of friendship and the sacrifice of anonymity. Two benefits of better internet etiquette are;
1. increased internet life-span, (internet death is when one's reputation becomes so bad, one is forced to destroy their identity.)
2. reduced frequency of being called "creep","loser", or just being ignored by beautiful young women that were too polite to reject a friend request.
Excessive booze consumption is something to monitor. For it is the enemy to internet success. Do I have a problem? No seriously, do I have a problem? I'm asking.
Why doesn't one just refrain from internet use when drinking? Because drunks have impaired judgement Einstein.
Like a car, a computer in the hands of an intoxicated one can be deadly. To be less vague about it, a drunk person will type regretful things on the internet via social websites. Direct communications while drinking, like talking on a phone, has always been discouraged. But not so with the non-direct communications of social websites. The entice at times could be too great.
Does a drunk know that what they type is weird gibberish? No, because their judgement is impaired, Sherlock.
To reform this practice, I propose new rules.
Rule#1
Its a friends duty to shame another upon receiving any internet contact, where the sender is drunk, or even suspected of being drunk (the message could sound clear and rational, but you know your friend) If not exercised, your drunk friend would continue on, stringing together catastrophic words with the potential to break a relationship (or many relationships at once) beyond repair. In a perfect world, where everyone is drunk all the time, there would be no problem. However these messages aren't read until the next day when all parties are totally sober. FOUL. And SHAME on you. Pathetic drunk. Maybe these words, executed with skill, would help prevent a future occurrence of this abhorrent behavior.
Gah!
Where is the drunk filter?
Rule#2
I propose that somebody with programming knowledge invent a drunk filter. A drunk filter would be a computer setting where between certain hours of the day, the computer loses all message sending capabilities. Or at least, makes one wait five minutes before submitting, to let their inebriated mind judge whether or not the message makes sense.
A smarter man would solve his drinking problem.
A genius, would imagine a world filled with drunk filters.
