friends

One morning I awoke to the ringing sound of my phone.

"Dude, did I wake you up?", came the tinny voice. A voice that I instantly recognized as that of my friend Charlie, an old co-worker that still drank with me sometimes.

"Yeah." I tried my best to say as few words as possible so the conversation could end sooner and I could get back to sleep.

"Sorry about that."

"Its alright."

"I was calling to see if you could give me a ride to the airport."

Ahh, he wanted a ride to the airport. A ride to the airport, which was 30 minutes away, to a man that never helped with gas money. I did not want to do it, all I really wanted to do was go back to sleep. But a better person in me believed in charity.

"Uhhh. I guess I could do that."

"Well, I know you work the midnight shift and all, so if you want to go back to sleep, I'll just get a cab."

Yes a cab. That would have been perfect. But I had to ask, just out of curiosity.

"How much does the cab cost?"

"Like 30 bucks." He said with a tone to emphasize how that was ridiculous. Thirty bucks was a lot of money. I'd would have felt like a real douche if I had not taken him at that point.

"Yeah, fuck it, I'll take you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah,...because that's what friends are for."

At that moment I realized I just said the lyrics to a song. I think Charlie on the other end realized that I had just said some lyrics too. I thought about it for a moment and remembered that Stevie Wonder, Elton John, and Dionne Warrick sang the song. The song started to play in my head at the same time.

"Dude, I think that is a lyric to a song."

"Yeah, I know. Not a lyric though, thats the chorus."

"That's what friends are for."

"Yep....


....I'll just get a taxi."


"Yeah, you do that."

Charlie hung up and that was the last time we ever talked to each other. He died three years later in a horrible plane crash.

Unable to get back to sleep, I got dressed in my workout clothes and ran 20 miles. Trying to outrun an anxiety that followed me. Why was I anxious? I did not know. When I got home, I was thirsty. I needed water, but I drank whiskey. Its just one of those things that you do. I did not know why it was that I needed a drink, I just needed one. After a quick shower, I went to work.

"Walt! What are you singing?"

I looked up and there was Martha. The M.I.L.F. I looked at her breast and then at her face. She said I was singing. I had no idea that I was singing.

"I wasn't singing."

"Yes you were."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were and I think that it's that song with Elton John and Dionne..."

As Martha spoke I began thinking. I was definitely sure that I was not singing aloud, let alone, that song. However that song had been stuck in my head all day. Perhaps I was singing, because how else could Marhta know about my tenuous relationship with that song. I concluded that I must have been singing. But before I confessed, I remembered that her and Charlie was best friends when he worked here. Some people in the office even thought there something else going on besides workplace friendliness. Martha was married with kids, but she was a slut. Everyone here knew it. He must have told her. And I was not going to play this game.

"No I wasn't singing that song. So go fuck off. And tell Charlie 'very funny'."

The whole room was looking at us. Martha had a shocked expression on her face but she was real good at acting. I looked at the whole room with people staring at me. That Charley was a sly devil, he must have told the whole office!

"Ha Ha everyone. Charlie must have told all of you too. That rascal! Do you all really want to hear me sing? Sure." What else did I have to lose, they were all laughing at me anyways. So I sang the most heart wrenching rendition of "Thats what friends are for" in front of the whole office. All parts, Elton John, Stevie Wonder, Gladys, and D-War. When I was finished I looked around and saw tears in some colleague's eyes. And slowly but assuridly applause came in abundance.




Many years later, after I lost my job at the power plant, I got evicted from my apartment. I lived off of unemployment for a while, but could never really find another job. These days, I fancy cheap alcoholic beverages and sing 'That's What Friends are For' over and over and over and over, as I walk the streets.

don't sleep

do sleep

eyes burning

the world is a cartoon.
and i travel underground.

tapeworms

"Girl, you must have a tapeworm or something. How are you able to eat so much and keep that figure?", Mrs. Robinson said as she made another plate for the half starved white girl. The girl looked to be about 15 years of age from Mrs. Robinson's estimates. Only hours earlier, she had knocked on her door, sopping wet. She seemed harmless enough and, Mrs. Robinson, being a devout Christian could not turn her away.

The girl sat at the kitchen table, along with four of Mrs. Robinson's grandchildren. They ranged in age from 5 to 12. Tonya being the eldest. She seemed fascinated with the white girl that ate as if she had never eaten. "What's your name?", Tonya asked as Mrs. Robinson served another plate to the teen.

"My name? My name is Heather."

"Please to meet you Heather, my name is Tonya. What neighborhood are you from?" Tonya talked as she would to someone who did not know English. "You aren't from around here, are you?"

Focused intently on eating the contents of her second plate, all Heather could do was shake her head, indicating that she was not from their area.

"You must be hungry." Tonya said.

Heather nodded and resumed eating.

"What are you doing in this part of town?", despite being 12 years in age, Tonya was streetwise and not for one second did she trust the white girl that sat before her in her grandmother's house. But being twelve, she lacked the tact nor patience.

"Tonya shut your mouth! Stop harassing the poor white girl. Can't you see she is hungry? Let her eat in peace, and then, if she wants, you all can talk afterwards.", Mrs. Robinson was from a different era than her grand-daughter. In her time people were more polite. Not like the kids today, with their hip-hop.

Heather stopped eaten after the grandmother's outburst and said, "Its ok Mrs. Robinson, I appreciate all that you all have done for me thus far, and you all deserve some answers. I was just on my way to my friend's house and got caught in that rain storm. Thats it."

Mrs. Robinson might have been a gullible woman at times, but one thing she did know after raising six kids without a father was a when she was lied to. "Who is your friend Heather? Maybe we know them. We could call them and they could come get you. Better yet, maybe I could call your parents."

"No, you can't call my parents."

"Tonya, take your brothers and sisters and go to your room.", obediantly Tonya took her three siblings and went to the room that they all shared. "Heather, obviously you are in some trouble."

"No trouble, I was on my way to visit my friend."

"Girl, you don't know anybody in this neighborhood. Unless you are a crackhead. And you don't look like no crackhead. I've seen many a hopeless person come and go, and you ain't one of them. How old are you?"

"15"

"15. A pretty white girl fifteen years of age, going to throw her future away over nothing. Don't you think that your parents miss you? I bet they are worried sick and are looking everywhere for you."

"No," Heather began to cry, "its was not over nothing. You don't understand. And besides, you can't call them."

"Why not, you can't go on li-"

"Because they are dead.", she said it without emotion. As if they meant nothing to her. Mrs. Robinson unconsciously grabbed her gold crucifix that dangled from a necklace and began rubbing it.

Heather broke the silence by saying, "I have to go to the bathroom, where is it?" Mrs Robinson pointed in the direction. Heather said thanks and took off.

A few minutes later, Tonya came into the kitchen.

"Tonya what did I tell you? Go back to your room."

"But grandma, that white girl sounds like she is sick or something. She has been throwing up in there for five minutes." As soon as Tonya finished her sentence, Heather came walking into the kitchen.

"Are you ok?" Mrs Robinson asked as Tonya went back to her room.

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Tonya said you were throwing up. Were you throwing up?"

A faint smile appeared on Heather's face. "Yeah."

"Are you sick?"

"No."

"Then why were you throwing up?"

"Mrs. Robinson, how else do you think a pretty white girl like me maintains this figure?"

"Heather, I am going to have to ask you to leave. I've tried my best,.... Lord knows, I've tried my best. But I can't help you. I definitely can't have you around my grandkids. So please leave." Mrs. Robinson gestured towards the door and held it.

"Mrs. Robinson, I thank you for everything that you have done. taking me in your home for the last couple of hours until the rain subsided. But finally, I see the rain outside has stopped, and it is time for me to go on my way." With a wave of the hand the white girl gently let herself out of the house. Making sure that the door did not slam on the way out. Mrs. Robinson watched her dissappear down the street into the darkness through her window.

"Crazy ass white girls." she muttered to herself. "Tonya! Get in here and vacuum the living room. Its a mess! And don't ask me no questions about that crazy ass white girl."

A few blocks down the road, Heather was approached by a small group of kids.

"Hey foxy mama, what are you doing here in our hood? Are you here to buy some weed? Some cocaine?"

Heather, afraid as would any teenaged white girl would be in the situation, looked up from the ground and into the eyes of the dealer and asked, "Do you have any tapeworms?"

the Alpha and Omega

Alone
Add
Multiple
Organize
Music
Rhythm
Life
Instinct
Man
Thought
Murder
Lies
Guilt
God
Guilt
Lies
Chaos


What else does the day have to offer?
Live everyday like it is the last and
Sleep no longer.

people who design the yearbooks

After work the people at my job, who work in the air conditioned offices high above, like to drink at the local bar called 'the Angry Scallion'. I've never been invited to attend before until today.

I said, "Sure, why not?"

Being a man who likes his booze, I was never the type to miss a drinking opportunity. Also, the social gathering would be a good start, in my quest to change the way I am percieved at work. I've been labled weird many times because I am not much of a talker. Especially when there is nothing to be said. I'm not into bullshitting. But I am not 'weird' and I want to show that. A relaxed social situation was what I needed. The hot female colleagues were a bonus.

When work was over, I did my last remaining chores at the shipyard and said fairwell to the other uninvited employees. Suckers. Then I walked over to the Angry Scallion. Although the name of the pub makes the place sound like a dive joint, in actuality, it is a nice place for the ladies to relax. Painted in pastel colors and lit with, I forget the name of those fucking lights, I call them christmas lights. I entered slowly scanning the dim room for my co-workers. Not sure if they were there or not because they get off an hour before I do. Lucky for me, they were still there, a group of six people.

"Tom! You came! Let me introduce you to Bob, Janet, Denise, Harry,...", the girl speaking was Latasha, a black beauty of a woman whose looks I have been appreciating from a distance since I started working at the shipyard 8 years ago. As she was making the introductions, she gestured slowly clockwise to the occupants of the table. "...and Marie... did I forget anybody? Me? But of course, you know me."

"Hey everyone."

"Hi Tom.", they all spoke, almost in unison. I was appreciative of the attention. I pulled up a chair and ordered a beer from the waitress and they got back into what they were doing before I had arrived, which happened to be off-the-cusp trivia questions. They were very knowledgeable. All of the questions came from the top of their heads. Most of the questions revolved around old televsion shows and movies.

After a few questions, I realized that I was not very good at this game.

"What was the name of all of Roseanne's kids on Roseanne?"

"Ooh, I know this one. Darlene, Becky, and DJ."

"You are correct!"

"I have one! What show, that is on the air now, is filmed on the set where 'the Burbs' was filmed?"

"That is an easy one, Desperate Housewives."

I did not have a clue to any of these questions. Yeah, I was familiar with the shows, but not the details. And in the process of trying to listen to the questions and trying to figure them out, I became conscious of the fact that I was becoming very quiet. I was becoming the anti-social character that I disliked. I had to come up with a question of my own.

"Hey guys, I have a trivia question for you. In Rocky II, what did Rocky say when he could not catch the chicken?"

Silence. They were animated in excitement a few seconds ago, but my question seemed to have quelled that excitement. I thought for sure that someone would know the answer to this one. Afterall, Rocky was such an icon. All the quotes from that film is etched in stone somewhere.

"Nope, don't know that one.", said Janet.

Ok, maybe the ladies would not know the answer to this one, but the guys should definitely know.

"Nope, don't know that one either. What is it?"

Defeated in my attempt to connect, I revealed the answer to be, "I feel like a Kentucky Fried idiot." The trick to a good trivia question is to not stump, it is to be able to make a question that people can answer, but after a moment of thought. The questions are there to help people feel closer through a common understanding. At this task I failed.

After a moment of silence, someone else had a question that got the table buzzing with excitement again. Glad that the table moved on, I started to listen to the questions and answers again, astonished on how little that I knew. But again, I became dissatisfied with the character I was becoming. How am I ever going to meet girls like this? The gathering will end soon, and sure I met Janet, Denise, and what the fuck her name is, but when this is over we would all part ways as if we never met. I needed another question.

I belted, "In Total Recall, what did Arnold say when the guy he was fighting, Richter, had his arms torn off in the elevator and fell to his death?"

Silence. I almost predicted this outcome because this question was harder than the Rocky one, but it was all I had.

I asked, "Did you all see the movie?"

"No."
"Yeah, I've seen it, but I don't remember that part."

"What did he say? Tom."

"He said, 'See you at the party Richter!' "

"Oh, I kind of remember that." was what someone said, Latasha I believed, and then the gathering adjourned.

Everybody parted ways and the night ended right there. Maybe they were happy, but I thought the night ended on a sour note. I thought perhaps I have become this WEIRD anti-social character because I am out of touch with the current cultural patterns or something. Maybe I am just getting old, but I were all relatively the same age. However, it was hard to deny that something was fundamentally different between us.

I am not an action buff or anything, I picked the questions because they belonged to the films that I grew up watching. The films that I watched repeatedly until I was able to memorize everything. Rocky, Rambo, Terminator, Total Recall, Robocop, and a slew of horror movies were the movies I grew up watching.

Those are all well known films. I know it is not me. Maybe I am over analyzing. But deep down inside...

---Tom -peace out

eh?

collapse prediction
chemicals won't fail
silence before the crash
experienced follower
care about being indifferent
move! don't be stationairy
hunt the meek
gather the trivial
motionless buffoon
speechless clown